Sunday, August 18, 2013
I can't believe I only have two sleeps until I head to a new chapter in our lives! I have spent the last few days saying goodbye to so many people. I have managed to not cry yet. I feel like I should be but I'm not. I feel at total peace that this is exactly what God wants us to do! I'm sure once I'm there I might feel a bit overwhelmed. But until that happens I'm going to continue in the peace I feel! Hope is just about done with her second molar coming through and since I got her new amber teething necklace she seems to be handling it better! I'm really hoping and praying she transitions well to Wisconsin. We want to work on getting her into her own crib but since we will be in a one bedroom her crib will be in our room... Oh well we will be trying anyways:) I'm beat, tired, a little anxious and nervous but I'm off to bed! Until next time...
Monday, August 12, 2013
Just sitting in the car waiting for Hope to wake up from a nap and I can't help but think of my close friends who have lost babies and to think of the two early miscarriages I had. I'm so grateful for Hope. It's so hard to understand the fallen world we live in that is full of pain, hurt, disappointment, death, and so much more. I use to fear going to heaven. I still have moments where the unknowing throws me off but who wouldn't want to live in entirety without all those awful things. Who wouldn't want to love where babies don't die. I feel physically ill when I think of mothers that bury their babies. My heart breaks when I think of mothers that don't get the chance you nurse their babies. I am reminded daily of how blessed I truly am to have a baby girl who is so healthy. I pray each day for each toe and finger and for her heart and lungs. I pray The Lord will protect her so I can continue to watch her grow. I pray that I can be the best mother for her and raise her to love The Lord who keeps her safe. Thank you Jesus for this sweet girl you have I trusted me with! I would attach a beautiful sleeping picture but I can't figure out how to do it with my phone yet! Until next time...
Friday, August 9, 2013
But who is counting. I can't believe how soon it is until we leave. I think I won't realize what really happened until I have been there a few weeks, or maybe until a holiday hits. I have never lived away from home, neither one of us have. We didn't go to college out of state and we were both raised here. What are we in for? So exciting and scary at the same time. I have made it a point to stay on the same page as Steven as the weeks have gotten closer. We need to be a solid unit for this move as it will be quite the change. We unfortunately hit a bit of a rough patch 2 days ago. Nothing that needs to be hashed out here but Steven just made some poor choices that lead to feelings being hurt. So...how do we refocus before the move? Forgiveness....real forgiveness. Believing in the person. Trusting in the words they say when you don't think you can. Choosing to see the good in them and realizing all that bad that is in yourself as well. So far with preparing to move, being "one" a "solid unit" has seemed to be the most important. Things have been rough for Hope. Coming back to my parents after living here previously and changing rooms 3 times since we have been here has been tough. She isn't sleeping well, super fussy and just plain old having a hard time. I am excited to get settled, but sadly that won't really be until we are in a house in Green Bay. I will try and do my best to make the apartment feel like home. It isn't the fact that it is an apartment, its just we could be there for two months or a year, we don't know. Oh well! We will make the best of it. Over the last few days Hope has learned a few new things! 1. She finally looked up at the sky and noticed the airplanes. 2. She now can hear the airplanes and identify them! 3. She clearly said doggie 4. She clearly said K for Okay;)Which is a big deal because she says "ya" to everything. Well I'm off to browse the internet for new glasses! Until next time!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Today is a day I will never forget. Today my sweet friend Jenna gave birth to her son, Madden Hayes, at 32 weeks old. Madden was diagnosed with a rare disease that meant Death Baring. Jenna has known for the last 12 weeks that her sweet boy that she has loved since the moment she found out she was pregnant was going to die at birth if not sooner. It wasn't even one of those 5% cases....it was a God would have to do the miraculous for him to live. We believed and prayed for a miracle all the while knowing that it may not happen. Jenna's water broke this morning and by 9:30 she had given birth to a beautiful baby boy. He lived for 15 minuets. Jenna prayed she would at least be able to see/hold him alive and that prayer came to fruition, praise the Lord. I wasn't expecting to be able to visit her in the hospital as she had not wanted people there but she had changed her mind and there I was driving to see her. As I walked in the room, room 5, there was a courageous friend holding her first born son in her arms. I could see the love in her eyes. My heart instantly sank, afraid I would not know what to say but you just say, you just do. She talked all about the delivery and how grateful she was that things went smoothly. What? she was grateful for something while she held her baby that had passed away? She has blown me away. Her love for the Lord has never wavered. She trusts the Lord. She honors the Lord. She Loves the Lord with all her heart mind and soul. She has been such an example to others. I can't describe how proud I am of her. Never for a moment did I think I would get to hold Madden. It would never be something I would ask just like I didn't ask to visit either. As I was leaving after spending time with her she asked if I would like to hold him. I was honored. I will never forget those moments. I will never forget the chance to hold him. Sweet baby Madden I am so grateful you are now pain free dancing with your savior and Heavenly Father. I can not wait to see you in your healthy body. You were a light while you grew in your mommy's tummy and for the time here on earth! To my sweet friend Jenna, you are one amazing women. You are a selfless mother and a beautiful person inside and out. I am lucky to get to be your friend. I will be holding and squeezing and loving on Hope even more today and for the weeks to come as I think of Jenna's loss. Until next time....
Friday, August 2, 2013
We are so close to being done! House is basically empty and I just have cleaning to do! Packing and cleaning is really easy with a busy baby....but she makes for great breaks;) Nursing continues to be a good excuse to take a break! Today Hope had a pretty great day....although she still doesn't love to sleep;) Daddy came home with a new Veggie Tale movie for her that matches a book she has. She seems to love the theme song! here is a little clip
Thursday, August 1, 2013
They say home is where the heart is and I believe I am living proof of that. We will be celebrating 10 years of marriage in 23 days and we have moved 13 times....14 counting the one we are currently in the midst of. I hope to one day stay in the same place long enough to really make it my own( well pinterest like) but until then home is truly where the heart is. So here I am in an almost empty apartment on the floor thinking of what my life will look like in a month from now. We are moving cross country! Wisconsin! We have been talking about moving for years and here we are actually doing it. I keep thinking of all the things Steven is giving up to move up in the company and provide for his family. It brings tears to my eyes to think of his love for us and for the best life he can provide for us! I am so excited to see what God has planned for us! I am really starting a new blog for family and friends who want to keep up with us and especially Hope! While I will update on Facebook with pictures, this will hopefully give a more detailed look plus as so many people have said to me.....write things down you will forget! So here is the current chaos!